4/23/08

NEW PORN RULE! FAKE FACIALS


NEW PORN RULE!

NO MORE FAKE FACIALS!

This is not a facial! This is a woman getting a bucket of creamed ice milk thrown in her face. If I wanted to see movies with no production values, no hot women, no talent and with ridiculous gimmicks to sell themselves then I would watch something by Extreme Associates.

I will say though, this picture kind of turns me on.

NEW PORN RULE! FAKE DICKS


NEW PORN RULE!

NO MORE FAKE DICKS!


That's not a penis! If I wanted to see a bullshit, fake looking generic cock on my TV, then I would watch a John Strong scene! What's worse is watching the girls pretend it's actually a real cock. And if you're going to use fake dicks at least make them realistic. Somewhere in America a kitchen Table is missing one of it's legs.

4/21/08

NEW PORN RULE! KHAN TUSION


NEW PORN RULE

KHAN TUSION MUST STOP BEING A PUSSY AND SHOW HIS FACE!

If you're man enough to slap a womans pussy and make her cry. Then you can be a man and show your face. No one is going to hunt you down and kill you, no one is going to show up at your studio and kick your ass for pissing on their sister. Because secretly we all love what you do (used to do, anyway) and we know that if you were dead we would be deprived of the chance that piss mops is coming back. If Max Hardcore can put on a Cowboy hat while his dick is in a girls ass and play the guitar... then you can show your face.

NEW PORN RULE! BOOB JOBS

NEW PORN RULE!

PORN STARS MUST STOP RUINING THEIR BODIES BY GETTING RIDICULOUS IMPLANTS!


Very rarely does this ever work. Hillary Scott, Codi Lane, Lexus Locklear, Rio Mariah, Holly Wellin are all good examples of Porn Stars that looked better after a boob job. But the list of Porn Stars that look odd and freakish after their boob jobs is longer then my dick!

Melissa Lauren, Katsumi, Tegan Presley, Lucy Lee and a whole host of others. For all of these women there was that one day when I popped in a dvd and saw them with more alterations to their bodies then fucking Robocop . With all due respect, no one watches a Melissa Lauren scene to warship her body. I mean she is good looking. But we all watch Melissa Lauren to see her get fucked in the ass until she cries. Maybe on the business side it help her get a contract. But from the fan point of view it only hurts. I'll go on record and say right now that if Jasmine Byrne, Roxy Jezel, Jayna Oso, Chiquita Lopez, Bobbi Star, Taylor Rain, or Courtney Simpson ever get implants, I'm gonna jump out a fucking window and never watch one of their scenes again.! To be honest a really good boob job costs thousands of dollars ala. Christina Aguilerra or Mariah Carey. And most of the boob jobs we see in porn did not cost thousands of dollars.

4/20/08

NEW PORN RULE! TONY T


NEW PORN RULE!

TONY T MUST NEVER DO FOREPLAY IN HIS SCENES!

Tony T is one the most intense stunt cocks in the business. I don't think I have ever seen anyone get pumped harder then when tony t fucked the daylights out of Chloe Dior in "Big Wet Asses". He truly has a talent. But watching Tony T do foreplay comes off so dis-genuine and creepy I want to eject the DVD and lock it in a trunk for 80 years .

Watching Tony eat Jasmine Byrne's pussy, or suck Italia Christies tits, or put his middle finger in her butthole and make her taste it is like watching your Grandmother lick her lips. It's just not right.....

Please just do what you do best. Leave the loving for Michael Stefano.

NEW PORN RULE! BELLADONNA


NEW PORN RULE

BELLADONNA MUST STOP SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME WITH TERRIFYING DVD COVERS.

When I sit down to pleasure myself to a porno I want to be aroused, not have the fucking cum scared out of me! Who fucking directs her films for Christs sakes? Wes Craven!

NEW PORN RULE! CARMEN KINSLEY


NEW PORN RULE!

CARMEN KINSLEY MUST LEARN TO DANCE!

Carmen Kinsley, you are so hot. Carmen Kinsley you are so fucking. Carmen Kinsley your tits, face, and ass make me wanna howl to the moon like a Wolf. And the day you finally do anal will be more important to me then my wedding day! But with all due respect watching you shake that 40 incher is like watching Karl Rove dance at the Correspondents dinner...it's just not right.

Please go to a Latin dance class and learn to move your body in a manner that doesn't make me think your parents are confederates.

NEW PORN RULE! BLACK MALE PERFORMERS


NEW PORN RULE!

ALL BLACK MALE TALENT MUST STOP THINKING THEY ARE RAPPERS AND GIVE IT A FUCKING BREAK ON THE BALL CAPS, JORDANS, CHAINS, RINGS, AND FRIGHTENING LOOKING GRILLS!

You're not rappers! You have no musical talents (I think Jake Steed proved that). You're in this position right now because you have a large cock, can maintain a hard-on for a long period of time and can come on cue, or your friend that has a large cock, can maintain a hard-on for a long period of time and can come on cue asked you if you wanted to be in a porn and fuck some "beyotches". That's all. When a guy watches a porn he is putting himself in the position of the guy who's fucking and I'll tell you, there is nothing more wood killing then watching an interracial flick with some black dude trying to be hardcore in a baby blue valor track suit covered in chains and rings. Then when it's time to fuck he won't take off his Air Force Ones.

But I guess this fits seeing as how most Rappers want to be pornstars.

NEW PORN RULE! MARK DAVIS


NEW PORN RULE!

MARK DAVIS MUST STOP THINKING THAT BILLIONS OF PEOPLE WORLD WIDE BUY PORN TO SEE HIM AND HIS CROOKED COCK!

Never before in porn has there been a more conceited performer. His British sneer exudes arrogance. I seriously think he thinks he's god. For now on all his scenes should just feature him alone with no girl... he can sit in a chair and wrap himself in saran wrap and put a flesh light on his dick and twist it like he makes all the girls twist on his dick and he can just sit there for 40 minutes and talk to the camera and slap the cameras chest. I bet he would think it would be just as compelling.

NEW PORN RULE! WESELY PIPES


NEW PORN RULE!

Wesley Pipes must wear a muzzle during all his scenes for now on.

Please! Wesley Pipes SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!

Remember that guy from Goodfellas that always said the same thing twice? well I would bet my house that Mr. Pipes here loves the movie Goodfellas. He needs to shut the fuck up and concentrate on keeping his hard on.

NEW PORN RULE! NO MORE RACIST PORN STARS!


NEW PORN RULE!

NO MORE PORN STARS ARE ALLOWED TO BE RACIST!

If you walked up to your boss and told them that you "don't wanna be work'n wit dem colad folk no mo" what do you think would happen to you? You would be branded a racist and you would probably lose your job! But in the porn business not only is racism tolerated... in some cases it's encouraged.

Taylor Rain, Harmony Rose, Jessica Darlin, Christina Alexis. Please move back to "Alabamer" and take your ladders with you so you can get the fuck over yourselves. It's always funny hearing a porn star say she won't fuck a black guy right before she sticks her tongue up a white guys ass!

But then again, who am I to question the rational of women that drink piss, eat cum, lick asses and show their gaped and beat up pussies for the whole fucking world see right there on film.

Porn whores I just mentioned.... I ask you.
If a black man pisses in your mouth... is it not yellow?
If a black man asshole is licked... does it not taste like shit?

Don't be dividers.... Be uniter's

UPDATE: 1/9/11

After receiving a ton of responses to this post I need to clarify something. I'm black and my girlfriend is white and I don't normally date black women. But I would never rule it out. I believe that discriminating against someone based on their race is simply put racist. People seem to have this odd idea that when it comes to dating and attraction it's all due to fate and matters of the heart and you can't control what you like and you can't just help that you're not attracted to every single black in the world and that's bullshit! It's racism pure and simple. Now in this post I have chosen to single out white women not fucking black guys because in north American porn the predominant races are white men and women and black men and then to a lesser extent black women. One of the things I have been accused of on here is people assuming that because I'm black I have no problem with black women refusing to sleep with white men... that's not true. Let's be clear. When you work in porn.. that's your job. You may be asked to lick a toilet or get fucked in the ass or to let that guy choke you and sometimes you may be asked to fuck a black man. Now as a human being you have all the right to do whatever you want and or to not to. But if you're refusing to fuck a black guy because he's black.... that's racist. And you know what? The same applies for my fellow African American women that refuse to fuck "white devils" because they're grandma wouldn't approve. Racism goes all ways I'm not stupid. But let's be honest here.... It's generally one group of people in porn (white women) refusing to get it on with another (black men). Which I add a million times is their right, however let's call it what it is... racist.

What I was trying to point out in my original post is that it's funny how Taylor Rain for example a women who drank piss and ate cum for several years in porn apparently thought fucking a black man was hitting the bottom of the barrel.

I do understand how that sort of thug, gangsta bullshit can be a major turn off to women in general of any color and if you look at black male porn stars who have crossed over such as Sean Micheals, Lexington Steele, Franco Rocforte they don't really push that culture in their porn. I also see alot of black guys in porn that honestly look like if they weren't in porn they would be on the corner slanging rock. So I understand if some white women may have a problem participating in "black on white crime gangbang edition #4" where you have no clue where 7 of the ten guys came from.

The bottom line is, I know racism goes both ways and I know there are a lot of white men out there who don't like the idea of "niggers" fucking their precious white gold. Hence a lot of the misinformed messages I keep getting regarding this reply.

Hope this clears some things up.

NEW PORN RULE! KHAN TUSION

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NEW PORN RULE! GIANNA MICHAELS


NEW PORN RULE! GIANNA MICHAELS MUST DO ANAL NOW! I know what's going to happen. She's going to wait fucking forever and then by the time she does it no one is going to care or the scene is going to suck 'ala April Flowers, Cytheria, Sativa Rose, and Lexus Locklear. I'm not saying she should become Audrey Hollander. But take Amy Reid for example. HER tits are just as fantastic as Giannas and her work has an intensity that you never see in a Gianna scene because she (Gianna) like most of the Brazzers girls don't do anal. Do anal now!

NEW PORN RULE! STILETTOS



NEW PORN RULE!

No more wearing stupid clownish Stilettos! These are an absolute "must go" in porn.... They are ugly and stupid looking. There is nothing more unattractive then watching some smoking broad get nailed and she's wearing these silly circus style 9 inch stilettos that are flapping back and forth as she's getting fucked. I would love to see Shyla Styles come out in her next scene wearing some big ass red clown shoes, because, it's basically the same thing as wearing retarded looking Stilettos! Would all American porn girls follow the Euros lead... Sexy thin heels are hot! But 9 inch retarded clown stilettos are not!

Clown shoes, male clogs, or even those stupid little Elfin shoes they wore in the Lord of the Rings. It doesn't matter what she wears because they are all just as ugly as these retarded looking stilettos. Or replace her feet entirely... it could be the new fetish girls with hoofs. I could see it now. "HOOF FUCKERS VOL. 9" brought to you by Extreme Associates.

NEW PORN RULE! JOHN STRONG


NEW PORN RULE!
John Strong has to stop being in every single Red Light District/Platinum X dvd! I don't care if he works for, or owns the company, there is no excuse to see his piece of shit cock in 3 scenes per movie. Watching him fuck Bailey in the ass is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. When a guy watches a porn he's putting himself in the position of the guy who's fucking so guys want to imagine themselves with hard gigantic cocks like Brandon Iron, Erik Everhard or Nacho Vidal and (if you hate women Tony T) not this miniature hotdog shaped cock that looks like it will snap off at any moment . If Red Light District actually cared about their fan base then they would seek out some new male talents and stop using this lazy uninspired no-talent that never wants to get off the couch! Just because he shows up on-time and is ready to fuck, doesn't mean he's talented. Boo to John Strong!

If you don't believe me then search his name on Adult DVD Talk forum